One of the common concerns parents raise is about grandparents and relatives offering sweet treats and other junk foods consistently to little ones, often even when known this is something that the parents themselves do not approve of. These situations cause friction among family members and most parents end up feeling helpless about the constant barrage of sweet treats offered by well-meaning relatives.
How then can we set healthy boundaries with extended family around food for our toddler? Let’s find out.
How to set healthy boundaries with extended family around food for toddler
To navigate excessive showering of love and affection towards our children through sweet treats you can,
- Educate about the science
First things first, start talking about why you follow certain health rules. Why no honey before age 1? Why no salt and sugar before age 1? Why no screens at the table, etc etc. share relevant articles and videos with grandparents. Science is continuously changing and updating there is no guarantee what we follow today will be followed in the future. But, for now, we go with the latest research. Share all of this information respectfully to educate instead of trying to prove a point. Our parents have done their bit in raising us. We must start with compassion as we approach these situations.
Related reading: How to raise intuitive eaters?
- Decide on alternatives
Grandparents and loved ones want to show their love in some way. Help them decide on alternatives that match your family’s eating philosophy. Once again we want to approach this with kindness.
In our family situation, I left it up to both grandmothers to make anything sweet they like for our son as long as they make the sweets with jaggery or honey. Both have found ways to make ladoos, pancakes, and festive sweets by replacing sugar. On my part, during special festive occasions, I don’t bother about rules either. So it’s a balance we strike as a family all year round.
They understand that packed food is not okay with us and go out of the way to make some yummy foods at home for the kids. And I make it a point to appreciate the effort they take to meet our family philosophy. I am truly grateful to both of them.
- Model and advocate for your child’s health
Continue talking about the subject and advocating for your child’s health, regardless of how people view you. As a parent, we are responsible for our children’s long-term health. Don’t give up. It takes a lot of courage to speak up for your child, I get it. But, speak up we must.
Sometimes assertive actions can help. Is some relative not cooperating with you? Take charge of cooking for your child. Or carry a snack box with you when you go for social outings, most times people don’t interfere once they see you already carried food for your little one.
- Focus on the positives
When grandparents and relatives help with maintaining your family food rules do appreciate them. Tell them what you liked, and how your child enjoyed what they made or bought. It makes a big difference. They are all coming from a place of love in the end and we want them to know that we see the effort they are making for our children.
Another very important point I want to end with is, to remember that your children are always watching you. The way you navigate these tricky situations will be lessons in communication that they are learning from you.
Show them how we can approach every situation with empathy and how to balance between standing up for your needs and respecting others in an interaction.
What do you think? How has your experience been with setting boundaries with extended family around food for your toddler? If you have any tips or phrases you use do drop a comment. It can be useful to all of us.
